Think Big, Act Small, Start Now

Nora invited me for brunch last weekend at her place. She is my best friend whom I tell everything. She recently returned to Shenzhen from Helsinki, where she ran a three-week long campaign for her company, so we had a lot to catch up.

She told me about the delicacies, the culture, and the lifestyle in Finland. She brought back with her the best cheeses, local recipes, and most importantly, the Finnish passion for food. For our brunch, she prepared a huge feast that looked like the cover of a gourmet magazine. We started with a delicious fish soup med with cream, salmon, potatoes and vegetables that we enjoyed with fresh baked rye bread made from sourdough. Followed by a pastry, which was filled with cooked rice and minced beef. At the end, she brought out a typical dessert from northern Finland, a bread cheese topped with stirred cloudberries, and served with dark roast coffee. I was glad Nora was back.

I told her about the new girl in my life, the new publisher for my novel, and the new project I started. She angled up the inner corners of her eyebrows, “I’m happy for you,” she said, and gave me a hesitant smile. “What’s wrong?” I said. “Nothing,” she said. I stared at her. She sighed. “Spill it out,” I said.

Nora told me that she wasn’t happy, she didn’t find her job meaningful or exciting anymore, and she didn’t know what to do about it. I was surprised, because a minute ago, she looked content.

“What’s an ideal day for you?” I asked. “I just wanna sleep, eat fried chicken and waffles, and watch Netflix all day,” she laughed. “You can do that this weekend,” I smiled, “but from Monday, what would a perfect day look like for you?” I asked, “what excites you, other than eating, sleeping, and watching Netflix?” I laughed. “I don’t know. I mean I’m making good money and all, but I feel empty inside,” she sighed, “and I just came back from the happiest country in the world, go figure.”

I knew how she felt, because two years ago, I felt the same. “You need a passion project,” I said, “something that will bring joy in your life every day.”

“Nothing excites me,” she said.

“What about food?”

“Yeah I love food, but what am I gonna do with that?”

“First think about what a perfect life for you looks like, write that down on a piece of paper, and then call me,” I said. I was referring to an exercise I did five years ago, to design my remarkable life, and now I’m living it. So I knew if Nora did that exercise, her life would eventually change.

A few days later, we met for drinks. “Show me,” I said. “Show you what?” she said. “Whatever you wrote about your remarkable life.”

“Oh,” she laughed, “I didn’t do it,” she covered her face with her hands, “but I’ve been thinking about it, a lot.”

“You need to put it down on paper,” I said, “that’s the first step, and it’s very important. It’s time to think big.” I told her that once she wrote down what kind of life she wanted, I would help her with the next steps. So we planned to have afternoon tea the next weekend.

On Saturday, we met at the hotel. “I loved your new story,” she said, “I don’t know how you do it.” I poured freshly brewed Pu’er tea for her, “do what?” I asked. “Write and publish every week,” she said. “Oh, I just follow a weekly plan,” I said, “and I love doing it, it’s so exciting.” She took a sip of her tea, “I can tell. Wish I had something like that too.”

“Well, then let’s make it happen,” I said, “show me what you wrote.” She pressed her lips, and turned her head towards the window.

“You didn’t do it, did you?” I asked. She shook her head, “I don’t have time,” she said. “Did you watch Netflix this week?” I asked. She smiled. “So you do have time,” I said. She rolled her eyes.

I told her that I believe there are two kinds of people in this world. The first kind are the creators, they spend most of their time expressing themselves by making things. The other kind are the consumers, they spend most of their time enjoying the things that the creators make. “Okay okay, I get it,” she said, “who are you? My life coach?”

Living your dream life doesn’t happen over night. It takes time. And in order the make that happen, you have to take the first step, which is to dream big. Then you have to act small by taking mini actions towards the big goal. But you have to start now.

“Maybe it’s not a priority for you,” I said, “which is fine, many people are content with their current conditions.”

“But I’m not content,” she said.

“So how bad do you want your life to change?”

She looked out the window, and sighed. I refilled her cup with Pu’er tea.

She turned her head towards me, then raised her hand in the air, and said something to the waiter in Chinese.

After a few minutes, the waiter brought out rhubarb and custard scones, raspberry ripples blondies, and quick Florentines. He then put his hand inside the pouch of his apron, pulled out a small writing pad and a pen, and passed it to Nora.