Great Expectations

When I was five years old, I lost the magic of celebrating birthdays, and since then I have always avoided my special day. Though last year, when I traveled to the Chinese ethnic tribal area of Dong Zhai during my birthday week, I had an epiphany, and decided to let go of my birthday blues once and for all. I’ll do something special for next year, I thought when I left the Dong Zhai village.

Last month, I saw an ad for an experiential learning program for children on one of my colleague’s social media account. “It’s during my birthday week!” I commented on her post. “Wanna celebrate your birthday in Dali?!” She wrote back. I thought it was a joke, but a week later, she invited me for lunch to discuss the possibility of me designing an experience that would allow the children to explore their voices and the world around them through instant photography. That’s such a fun gig, I thought. I always wanted to lead a program where I could merge traveling and photography together. “I would love to,” I said. And that was the beginning of my great expectation of celebrating my birthday, surrounded by a group of friends, colleagues, and new acquaintances.

My birthday was on Day 5 of the week-long program. I opened the updated brochure, and it looked like all the best activities were scheduled on that day. I wonder if they changed the program on purpose, I smiled. We would end the day by watching the sunset across from Erhai Lake. That would be the perfect way to celebrate, I thought.

On Day Zero, which was a traveling day, I met up with our team at the airport. We had an early flight to Dali, so our coordinator bought a few baked stuff for us, as none of us had any time to have breakfast. “What kind of cake do you like?” she passed me a few wrapped pastries. “Oh, I don’t like cakes, but I love brownies,” I laughed. What a clever way to find out what I would like for my birthday, I thought.

Dali is a beautiful city, sandwiched between mountains and Erhai Lake. Every morning, when I woke up, I felt grateful for such a wonderful experience. I couldn’t have asked for a better alternative. The kids in my program were curious, enthusiastic, and most importantly happy. They made me laugh every day. It was blissful. When you are grateful for what you have, I thought one day, you attract more of it in your life.

The night before my birthday, after the kids went back to the hotel with their parents, we went out for dinner and drinks.

When we returned to our farmhouse, it was almost 11 PM, a few people collected some wood from the barn, and made a bonfire. The rest of them brought out more drinks.

They are planning a surprise for me, I thought. I knew that they would wish me at midnight, and then we would all go to bed.

But after 30 minutes or so, people started leaving. “It’s been a long day,” one of them said, “get some rest you guys,” another one said. Maybe they didn’t get the message, I thought. There were still a few people around, so I stayed, but after a while I looked at my watch and it was 12:08 AM. No one said a single word, so I got up and went to my room. I’m sure they’re doing this on purpose, I thought maybe they were planning something special for me at Erhai Lake. Now judge me if you want, but all my life I avoided my birthdays, and now that I finally wanted to celebrate, you can’t blame me for expecting a few little miracles.

The next morning I woke up to the sound of birds (at least it wasn’t the rooster). It’s my birthday, I thought. I couldn’t believe I was happy. All those years, I hated waking up on my birthday, realizing it was that day. I got out of bed, wrote my morning pages, meditated, and then hopped in the shower. I put on my new clothes and headed downstairs to meet my team. “Good morning,” they said. “Did you sleep well?” they asked. “Great weather eh,” they said. But no one wished me. I started to think that they must have completely forgotten about my birthday. How was it possible that out of 20 people, not a single person said anything. Maybe I’m not that special, I thought, Maybe I think too much.

When the student buses arrived, I went out to pick them up. One of my 7-year old students came running out of the bus, and gave me a hug. “Close your eyes,” she said. I did. “Open your eyes,” she said. When I opened my eyes, she was holding a necklace in her hand. “I bought this for you last night from the old city,” she untied it, “you know this is made with Yak’s bone, it’s very strong,” and put it around my neck. “What is it?” I asked. “It’s the god of wealth, so you can be very rich, like my parents,” she said. “Thank you so much,” I said, “you made my day.”

I got a gift on my birthday! That was the first thought that came to my mind, and I went around and showed it to everyone. At that moment, I didn’t care if anyone knew if it was my birthday or not or if anyone wished me. That gift was a true sign from the universe that just because I wanted to celebrate that day, the universe was conspiring on my behalf.

After lunch, we headed to Erhai Lake. I knew that if there was a surprise, it would happen there. All the kids gathered around their choir teacher, and started singing songs. “You should go on the rooftop,” the director of the program pointed at the restaurant across from where the kids were singing, “you’ll have a great view for photographs, and you’ll see everyone from the top.” I know what they are doing, I smiled. I thought maybe they’ll sing me the Happy Birthday song when I was up there. So I went to the rooftop, and waited. After they sang a few songs, one of the teachers turned around and looked at me, “are you coming down?” she laughed, “or planning to stay there forever?”

After we finished all the activities, the parents came and took the kids back to their hotel. Most of the teachers had formed smaller groups, and were heading out for dinner. “What’s your plan for tonight?” our coordinator asked me. “I guess I’ll go to the old city for dinner and drinks,” I said. “That’s where we are going too. Wanna join us?” she said. “Sure, let’s go.”

We decided to walk around and try out different street food instead of going to an actual restaurant. I thought that was a fun idea. “I need to get fruits and a few other things for tomorrow’s parents meeting,” our coordinator said, “do you guys want anything?” Everyone shook their head. We walked around a bit, bought some souvenirs, local delicacies, and then found a bar with live music.

When our coordinator returned, she pulled out a few things from her bag to show everyone what she bought for tomorrow’s meeting. “Oh I got you something,” she looked at me. “What?” I widened my eyes. She took out a brown cardboard box and passed it to me, “brownie,” she smiled.

No way!!! I thought, this can’t be real.

“What about us?” one of the girls looked at the coordinator.

“You guys are not that special,” she said, and winked at me.