If It’s Not a Hell Yes, It’s a No

At the end of 2020, after spending a year traveling around the world, I returned to China. That year, being away from my normal routine gave me the time to think, to rejuvenate, and to realign with the purpose of my life. I knew that I wanted to write every day, I wanted to photograph diverse cultures and people around me every day, but most importantly, I wanted to share my creativity with the world every day. The problem was that when I returned to China and went back to work, I realized I didn’t have any time to do all the things I wanted to do.

At work, I led a team of around 20 educators, which I enjoyed very much because I was good at it, but it also took away all my time and energy, so I couldn’t do the things that really mattered to me: writing and taking photographs. I didn’t know how to solve that problem, especially because my current lifestyle was what I always wanted, and my job gave me the financial freedom to enjoy that lifestyle, so it wasn’t like I could have just given that up.

How can I solve this? I thought, there has to be a way.

One of my colleagues is also a close friend. In the past, we have helped each other solve complicated issues at work, and we have always confided in each other. There is a great trust between us, so I invited him for a drink, to see if he could help me solve this dilemma.

“You need to find a new job,” Sander said, “one that gives you more time to be creative.”

“Well, that’s not an option.”

“Did you already do that exercise?” He said.

“Which one?”

“The one you wrote about a while ago.”

Sander was referring to a method I shared on this blog a few months ago: How to Design Your Remarkable Life. This technique helps you achieve the perfect life that you can imagine for yourself. “I’ll do that later,” I said. “Why later,” he said, “do it now.” So, I asked the bartender for a piece of paper and a pen. Once I finished the exercise and read it out loud, a thought came to my mind: Start a creative lab.

I told my friend about the idea: I would establish and run a new creative lab at school, where I would design project-based experiences for students that would allow them to think like artists and designers, while mastering the 21st century skills of collaboration, creativity, and critical thinking. “Interesting,” he said. “Isn’t it? But how would I sell this idea to the leadership?” I said. “That, my friend, I don’t know,” he smiled, “but good luck, it’s a great idea.”

I worked on my pitch for a few days and then presented the idea to the head of our school.

“Hmm,” she said, “actually your name came up the other day. We might have something better for you.”

“What do you mean?”

“How would you like to be the deputy division head of lower school?” She smiled, “of course it comes with a big raise, but also with more responsibilities.”

“Wow,” I said, “that’s an amazing opportunity,” I gulped, “but what about the creative lab idea?”

“To be honest,” she said, “that sounds like a big investment,” she got up from her chair, “not sure who’s gonna pay for that.”

“I see,” I stood up and walked with her towards the door.

“Why don’t you mull it over for a few days,” she said, “and let’s meet next week.”

As soon as I left her office, I went and found Sander. “She thinks the creative lab idea is too expensive,” I said.

“Of course it is,” he said, “you need to sell it to her.”

“That’s what I just did.”

“I mean you have to solve her problem.”

I didn’t get it. I wondered whether I should tell Sander about the other offer from the leadership or wait to hear what he had to say first. So, I stayed quiet and listened.

Sander told me about a podcast he recently listened to, which talked about how introducing a new idea was hard, and the guest on the podcast presented an effective way to solve that problem. “I think you should listen to it,” he said. So, I downloaded the Hidden Brain podcast on my phone and played it during my workout that day.

It mentioned that most of us think the best way to win people over is to push harder. But organizational psychologist Loran Nordgren who was the guest on the podcast said that a more effective approach was to focus on the invisible obstacles to new ideas. He gave an example of Betty Crocker’s ad campaign in the 1950s when they launched a line of cake mixes that included all the dry ingredients in the package. All you needed was to add water, mix it all together, and stick the pan in the oven. Despite the many benefits of the new product, it didn’t sell well. So, they hired a psychologist, who discovered that the reason the consumers were resisting the product was guilt. Due to the fact that the cakes tasted so good, people thought women were spending hours baking them. Women felt guilty about getting more credit than they deserved. So, they stopped using the product.

The solution: they made it less convenient, and relaunched the new product with the slogan “Add an Egg.” Sales of Betty Crocker instant cake mix soared.

So what’s the problem I need to solve here? I thought. I knew that our school needed signature programs to attract new clients and retain the current ones. My creative lab idea solved that problem, however, in order to convince the leadership, I needed to raise money.

So, I went back to my remarkable life plan and read it out loud. And a thought came to my mind: Present the idea to the parents during the Back to School night. And I did. I showed them how this creative lab would help their children master the 21st century skills of collaboration, creativity, and critical thinking. I didn’t know how they would react, but to my surprise, they all loved it and agreed to finance the whole thing (of course it also helps to have the richest of the rich as your customers.)

At the end of the session, Sander came up to me, “so, are you gonna do it?” he said.

“Hell yeah!” I said, “but…” And then I told him about the other offer.

“Hmm…,” he looked up for a few seconds, “didn’t you want more time to do the things you love?”

I nodded.

“So, if you take this leadership position, you’ll have even less time than what you have now.”

“True,” I said, “but it’s also more money and a better title,” I sighed.

“Is it a hell yes?” He said. I furrowed my eyebrows. “My grandmother used to say, if it’s not a hell yes, it’s a no.”

For the next few days, I thought about all my options, I made pros and cons list, I talked to my advisors, my best friend, and my mentor. They all agreed with what Sander’s grandmother had said. I was extremely excited about the creative lab, because it allowed me to do what I really wanted to do, but the leadership position would have taken that away from me.

At the beginning, it was a really hard decision for me, whether to accept the deputy division head position or not. So, I asked myself, Afzal, is it a hell yes? And the answer was simple: no.

So, I let it go.

Now, every morning, when I wake up, I feel like a kid on his first day of summer holidays. When you get to do the things you love, it feels like play. And I like to play, every day.